Thursday, June 28, 2012

Gertie assigns Fred a Number & Tips for Finding Men Online

I am going to start blogging more about the last few months; where I have been while I have been a little silent in my blogging. What I have been up to and the like. You are going to hear alot more about a character we refer to as Fred Flinstone, and today we are going to assign him a number.

Before we begin our second date story I think we should examine Fred's number and I should tell you a little extra story about him that occurred when Gertie went dress shopping with her friend Miss Off The Market.  This story occurred after Gertie had been out with Fred quite a few times but it won't ruin any surprised by telling it now. Something really funny happened to Gertie at this juncture that had never happened to her before in online dating.

We have talked before about Gertie's love of the quirky in her taste of men in general, but let me tell you how that bleeds into her taste of men online. Let me tell you my approach to viewing messages and checking out online profiles. When Gertie views messages from men online she always read the substance of the message first. Stock messages with no unique interest in her or her profile, mainly get deleted or rarely a "no thank you" response. It's not that these gentleman couldn't be attractive but Gertie likes a genuine message that shows interest and  writing prowess. Maybe it because I read about so many blogs. Maybe it's because I am always reading about the many messages that Ryan sends to ladies on AM. If that man can juggle a job, a marriage, two kids, a household, and a succesful blog and send personalized notes to his online conquests, so can any guy who wants to date me! So when determining Fred's Number, he was in strong contention for Number 10. To recap Number 1o is a guy who  read your profile online and commented on it thoughtfully and back in March I thought that would be his number but I never really made it official. 

Now let's get back to Gertie's online process for evaluating men. After I read a well drafted message that is unique and piques my interest, I check out the meat and potatoes of the man's profile. If his interests, grammar, self summary all seem in order, I check his details to see where he  falls in the Target Zone. Sometimes Gertie would lean out of the zone and date someone who wasn't her normal type trying to attain all the 17 guys we need to date for 2012. Then she views their photos. I know, I know... you don't believe me that I view their photos last but that's really how I view their profiles. I think I am really not an entirely visual person. Maria makes fun of me constantly, grabbing my phone and checking them out before she lets me talk about their stats.  Not that I don't have a type of that I don't like people that are attractive, but in my opinion looks fade. Long after six pack abs have come and gone a person's personality will still be around.

John Lithgow/ Fred the Killer
So if you read this far then I am sure that you really want to know Fred's number......drumroll please, after much debate and under the stipulation that a number can only be assigned once. I am assigning Fred......Number 16! So Fred had kind of odd photos. I mean we already learned that in our coffe story. Previously I think I mentioned he had a caveman resemblance but I think that is just because he had dark hair and had a picture next to an inflatable Fred. Upon further inspection I don't think he is very caveman like at all. He wears glasses, doesn't walk around barefoot, nor does he carry a club. He walks upright and he is very far from a Neanderthal. In fact although Gertie generally goes for tall dark and handsome and those words can be used to describe Fred, he is alot leaner and lankier than her normal prospects. So all of Fred's dating profile photos had funny lighting, they weren't flattering to say the least. Upon recounting her coffee story to her friends, when they asked to see his photo a few of them recoiled and asked her if she was sure about him.
Kathlene and her husband jokingly referred to Fred as a bit of a serial killer look to him. Although I think he looks nothing like Hannibal Lector or David Berkowitz. The only serial killer I can think of that he would even bare a slight resemblance to is a very young John
Lithgow way before he portrayed the Trinity Killer in Season 4 of Dexter. So he wasn't initially Gertie's type per se.

Fred Flintstones Doppelganger
However maybe dating slightly from the norm would help our heroine find love. So she gave Fred Number 16, The Guy you weren't initially attracted to but suddenly he's incredibly cute. And to be quite honest, Fred is incredibly  cute. Kathlene and her hubby say that Fred looks like a taller cuter Alton Brown but I think he is more aptly described as an incredibly young Tarantino look alike. Think early nineties, pulp fiction Tarantino.  And while I really am more of a chubby chaser I think this time I am going to try something new! :)

Back to the funny story about Miss Off the Market, a mutual friend, and Fred Flinstone. So after quite a few dates with Fred,     I went with Miss Off the Market  and a mutual friend to help her look at wedding dresses. It was a great girly day of fun and frills. We had an indulgent lunch and we re catching up on recent dates. Gertie was sharing about Fred showed her friends his photo. She was telling him that he was quite cuter than his photo and Gertie liked that his photos were a bit odd. She thought it might have saved him from being snatched up by someone else. The third friend at the table laughed, she is also single and indulges in online dating. Apparently Fred Flinstone who lives much closer to her than Gertie had messaged her at some point earlier in the year. His photos were a strong reason she declined messaging him back. See not everyone follows the Gertie process in choosing men and we all have different tastes. 

In the back of Gertie's mind she felt a slight bit of happiness or maybe it was in her Grinch heart, at least they never went on a date. Wow, wouldn't have that been awkward at the Fall Wedding.

Until Next Time, 
Gertie XoXo

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