The End of BBJ - Throwing Hammers at Boys who Ghost

And even as I blogged about the beginning a few weeks ago I knew it was coming to an end....
Isn't that how it always is? So BB&J and I had a fun fall and I thank him for the holiday spirit, but as we round the corner from Groundhog's Day to Singles Awareness Day it is officially true he has bit the dust.


Turns out BB&J was single because he can't maintain communication. He is the consummate texter and he rarely calls. I tried to bring it up and I thought it was worked through. Then one day a few weeks ago while on the phone I was discussing our plans for the weekend. They were going to be preempted because I had found out my parents would be unexpectantly in town. I casually mentioned it to him on the phone but clearly stated he didn't have to hang out with them unless he wanted to meet them. It just limited my availability for the weekend. He acted a bit like a boy on the phone, we had plans to meet later, he had a headache, he said he would call.....and then he ghosted me. He ghosted me through the entire weekend my parents were here, a few texts but no returned calls. He ghosted me because Paterno died, he got stuck in traffic, he was busy at work. I was a little fed up, I sent a terse text telling him this was not cutting the mustard.

He apologized through text but plans didn't really work out and his chivalry and my interest waned. We had been seeing each other since Fall and it is clearly winter. If you have no interest in meeting my parents that's ok if it scares you, it's too soon, but you have to be a man and cop to it and it makes me evaluate your potential differently.

There was a possibility it could have worked out if Gertie wouldn't have been so vocal about the mustard not cutting it and excepted the poorly made sandwich. But Gertie brings her best cupcakes to the table so she expects the gourmet fare to be reciprocated and yellow mustard is just not her style. She sent a scathing email to the texter to illicit everything that wouldn't fit in a text. She threw a hammer that defined exactly why this boy was still in the single pond. Her friend suggested she should sign the email this is why you will die single and alone, but Gertie resisted no need to spell out the inevitable to a dying man.

Watch out for Hammers,
Gertie xoxo

Gertie goes to the Symphony

Sorry for the hiatus daring adventurers, Gertie will endeavor not to wait so long to post in the future. Let me go back to fall now and tell you the adventure of my first few dates with Beer, Bread, and Jam guy (BB&J). His story doesn't have an ending yet so let's fill you in on the beginning details while it continues to unfold. I know he has been mentioned in a few other blogs and current thinking is that he is a Target.

The Emails:
One of the best things about online dating is when you send emails back and forth with potential Targets you can get a sense of who they are. You can tell whether they pay attention to the details from the punctuation, spelling, grammar. You can tell if they are funny from the tone inferences in their email.

The emails were fast paced, long, detailed. We talked about things we liked authors, careers, sports, food. Ah the food, Gertie is a foodie and she loves a man that knows his way around food,wine,cocktails. BB&J held the possibility of home cooked meals and fresh baked bread. Although being a nice guy isn't getting you in my pants, see previous blog, being a nice guy who cooks will put you in contention. The best part of emailing BB&J is that his interest level never waned. He had something about him that intrigued me immediately. He made funny jokes just for us which he continues to use to this day. He also asked me out on my favorite day of the week (Tuesday) for his favorite day of the week(Thursday). He said it would be his favorite day because it would be the day we met.....I know sappy but honestly I am a sucker for cute nerds.

First Date:
Gertie traveled into the city in the rain in black boots and a chic dress to meet the man who bakes bread. She agreed to go on the date with him on the condition he brought her home made jam. If you're going to tout yourself as a jam maker to this foodie, you better bring your wares.

Now BB&J definitely posted some younger photos in his profile, although they weren't entirely misleading. Have you ever met someone and felt like you had already met? Gertie felt a strange connection to BB&J upon shaking hands. She remembered feeling this way about someone once before, it was in her youth, many moons ago and so she wondered initially if BB&J reminded of her of that ex from so long ago. Gertie has never dated anyone who reminded her of an ex before. There was a Southern guy who smelled like an old boyfriend's cologne once, but that's for a future blog.

Interesting International food was enjoyed at a hole in the wall place. Gertie forgot about the similarities as they enjoyed spicy food and learned about one another. There was something about BB&J's eyes that mesmerized Gertie. Gertie was drawn to the light pools of dancing blue that sparkled as fond memories were shared. Gertie felt nervous to be so drawn to a man with light eyes, tall dark and handsome had always been her type before. Then there was a brisk walk to the Symphony. Gertie doesn't regularly attend the symphony and she thought it was an interesting first date. BB&J and Gertie sat watching the music and her mind raced. She couldn't place why BB&J was reminding her of this ex-love. It was the man who first broke her heart, did she want to have a broken heart again? Gertie felt the panic creeping into her mind but she told herself not to get lost in the moment. She sat there listening to Gershwin.

At Intermission they had conversation about their paths in life, work, and philosophies. BB&J made jokes about how the old fogies gave him questionable looks for attending the symphony in jeans but he thought they should be happy he was there. Bringing dates and exposing the younger generation to the classics. Gertie laughed so hard it made her heart smile. The second performance went to quickly. Before she knew it they were leaving and he was walking her to the car. He walked her to her car and made sure she knew her way out of the city. There was some lingering and then a friendly hug. He had forgotten the jam, but it was a great excuse for a second date. She agreed to the number exchange. As she drove home and recounted the date to her friend she couldn't shake the feeling that she had encountered when they shook hands, it had happened again when they hugged. She told her best gal pal on the phone about the feeling, she pondered if she wanted to go down the path again. She didn't really understand what it was at the time, sometimes our heroine is so naive. Before she reached home she had a text from BB&J thanking her for a great time and saying he couldn't wait to see her again.

Second Date: And then there was Jam! There was two kinds of jam on their next encounter because she had been jipped on the first date. They were sampled by the dating committee and there were mixed reviews, one jam was savory and one jam was sweet, but the date was the best part of the night. They met for drinks and dinner at a pub Gertie had been wanting to try. There were cocktails and shared meals. There was laughter, talking, more cocktails, and then it was really late. There was an ease in the flow of the conversation. Gertie had known it was past her bedtime but laughing with BB&J didn't mind making her stay up late. He laughed at her love of all things nerdy and she wondered if that love would soon include him. Gertie wished there was a good night kiss but the excited tension that the hug brought was not lost on her. She hoped this was the beginning of many dates to come.

Subsequent Interesting Date Highlights:
There have been many interesting dates since the late fall when BB&J made his appearance on Gertie's radar. There was a time at the closing of the date when Gertie gave him a handshake when he tried to kiss her, the signature Gertie move. Also on that night Gertie blurted out No as he tried to kiss her, insert round of applause for social awkwardness award. The first time he made her dinner at his apartment she swooned because it was the cleanest adult male apartment she had ever been in. The dinner was amazing and she had a great time. When he walked her out that night while attempting to kiss her, he poked her in the eye. This is now known as the caressing the eye and jokes are made about it constantly. Subsequent visits to his apartment have revealed that he actually lives there and it's not as clean as the first impression. He has met a few of Gertie's friends and all of them liked him. BB&J plays a musical instrument so there was caroling during the holidays with his friends. Eventually Gertie realized that the feeling she got when she first shook hands with BB&J was not an actual reminder of her ex, but he was someone she felt incredibly chemistry with. You see folks it had been a long time since Gertie had shocked by a man, and that folks is why he is still a spearing Target.

There will be more to this story, ups and downs, but while we wait to unfold we will learn about the Southern Gentleman from today and from days of yore, and we might be going on a date with a Single Dad in 2012....to be continued.

Watch out for Hammers,
Gertie xoxo

I may have hit a Target and speared a Man!

So like all things in life when you start a new project or make a resolution than an unexpected twist occurs. Now I don't want to jinx anything folks but as most of you who actually know Gertie have been pointing out, I mayhaps have speared a Target.

Despite all efforts to self sabotage and a huge serving of social awkwardness I may have speared a real man. And he keeps coming back for more. There really haven't been any red flags

Let me see how many of the Targets we have hit with this one.

We will call him BB&J, because amongst his other awesome qualities he advertised himself as making Beer, Bread, and Jam and it was actually a reason that I wanted to go out with him.

BB&J is definitely tall and he didn't lie about his height (phew!) , gives great hugs, most of his friends are awesome, and all the friends I've introduced him to so far have thought he was awesome. There could be some improvement in Target 3 & 9 but that could just be because we have both had busy holiday schedules. I'm going to leave those open for now. Although he definitely knows his way around kitchen, seems to have a good relationship with his mom and female friends, and not only is he a Gentleman(to an extreme) he does make me laugh in way that makes my whole body smile. I think Ladies & Gents we may have found a keeper. I would say 8 out of 10 Targets hit and the other two leave room for improvement.

Of course we started dating right before I started this blog. I had been kevetching with all my girlfriends about dating and sharing blogs I read. I decided I would venture out and start my own and I still have lots of great stories left to tell . But of late there hasn't been any new suitors only the same BB&J and some really great times.

One of my girlfriends told Gertie at dinner this week, isn't that the way it always happens. You start something to document your projects and then the project wraps up. Well don't worry readers we aren't wrapping up any time soon because Gertie has years of dates to right about and even with a Target speared there are lots more posts to write. Heck I may even write a little more about BB&J, you never know.

Until our next blog....

Watch out for Hammers,
Gertie xoxo

Social Awkwardness is a Contagious Disease and I need an Antibiotic

2 blogs 1 day....Blog 2

I have caught the disease of Social Awkwardness from kissing so many frogs or more aptly giving them handshakes or other invariably awkward ways to end a date. It so happens that I have been going on dates with someone whom I really enjoy their company and at the end of almost every date I inevitably put my foot in my mouth.

I have been letting things pop out during the course of these evenings that can only be described as self deprecating. I have told him that I have personal space issues, I'm a prude, I shouted no when he went to kiss me, and wait at another inopportune moment.

I know this is karma's way of paying me back for throwing hammers at boys. But this wonderful charming man continues to allow my social awkwardness to linger and continues to spend time with me and invite me on dates. In fact he has remarked that is cute, and he likes me despite of it.

I hang my head in shame and have no idea why. If Gertie was on date with a guy who professed any of these things, the Committee would tell her to cease and desist immediately. I would definitely throw a hammer at a boy who had pseudo rejected me this many times and yet this Jam making Prince continues on wooing our heroine.

How this story will end....we will have to wait and see but if anyone knows a commiserate drug to the Z-pak that could relieve me of this insane communicable disease, please advise immediately.

Watch out for hammers,
Gertie xoxo