Isn't that how it always is? So BB&J and I had a fun fall and I thank him for the holiday spirit, but as we round the corner from Groundhog's Day to Singles Awareness Day it is officially true he has bit the dust.
Turns out BB&J was single because he can't maintain communication. He is the consummate texter and he rarely calls. I tried to bring it up and I thought it was worked through. Then one day a few weeks ago while on the phone I was discussing our plans for the weekend. They were going to be preempted because I had found out my parents would be unexpectantly in town. I casually mentioned it to him on the phone but clearly stated he didn't have to hang out with them unless he wanted to meet them. It just limited my availability for the weekend. He acted a bit like a boy on the phone, we had plans to meet later, he had a headache, he said he would call.....and then he ghosted me. He ghosted me through the entire weekend my parents were here, a few texts but no returned calls. He ghosted me because Paterno died, he got stuck in traffic, he was busy at work. I was a little fed up, I sent a terse text telling him this was not cutting the mustard.
He apologized through text but plans didn't really work out and his chivalry and my interest waned. We had been seeing each other since Fall and it is clearly winter. If you have no interest in meeting my parents that's ok if it scares you, it's too soon, but you have to be a man and cop to it and it makes me evaluate your potential differently.
There was a possibility it could have worked out if Gertie wouldn't have been so vocal about the mustard not cutting it and excepted the poorly made sandwich. But Gertie brings her best cupcakes to the table so she expects the gourmet fare to be reciprocated and yellow mustard is just not her style. She sent a scathing email to the texter to illicit everything that wouldn't fit in a text. She threw a hammer that defined exactly why this boy was still in the single pond. Her friend suggested she should sign the email this is why you will die single and alone, but Gertie resisted no need to spell out the inevitable to a dying man.
Watch out for Hammers,