The Tale of Pon Farr
Wow! I feel like a successful blogger now that I’ve been asked to write a special guest blog. I’m really making a name (or in this case a pseudonym) for myself. Normally, I wouldn’t have much to contribute to a blog about online dating. I have nary a match.com or e-harmony account to my name. In fact, I am somewhat phobic about the whole idea of online dating. (Thus her Pon Farr nickname) Putting myself out there for total strangers to judge based solely on a picture and a paragraph is definitely not my style. I’d much rather be judged based on my writing style and grammar.
One of the only fights Gertie and I have ever had in fourteen years of friendship was over the time she created an e-harmony account for me without my knowledge. (Mea Culpa, and besides I didn't put your picture up and that one guy was really cute) She told me we were taking a Cosmo quiz and asked me all the questions on the e-harmony questionnaire one afternoon when I had come over to cheer her up from her last major break-up. I should have known something was up when she wouldn’t let me see the laptop screen. I don’t know what made me more upset, the fact that she created the account for me without asking or the fact that she forgot my age and made me a year older than I actually was at the time.(I blame the breakup on my inability to do math correctly)
Anyway, online dating is not for me, but I am here today to remind all you singles that the computer is not the only way to meet people. I recently began dating someone that I met (gasp) in person through friends. That’s right. I had actually met this man before we went on our first date together. We had actually had conversations face to face on multiple occasions before he even asked me out. How weird is that? (If this was a blog that counted in 17 guys to date this would count as Number 4.)
As a singleton with a friend group composed primarily of other singles (Could you introduce me to your single friends?), I had never had much success meeting anybody I was interested in dating. If anybody brought a new guy around to hang out with the group, it was usually because some friend of mine was dating him. Sloppy seconds are highly frowned upon within our crew.(but this one time.....oh well, that's for another blog) So, I had kind of given up on meeting anybody through friends.
A few years ago, I became good friends with a co-worker. She was married with kids and her life seemed very far removed from my own single existence. But, we had a lot of fun together, so I started hanging out over at her house and with her family. Her husband is a rabid football fan and they host weekly football parties from August through Superbowl Sunday. The first time I attended one of these football fiestas, I could have shot her. Couples everywhere! I was teasing her that she had forgotten to tell me I needed to bring a significant other to blend in with the natives when she informed me that I was incorrect. There was one other single woman and one single man present. I had mistakenly assumed that they were together because they had been football buddies for so long that they argued like an old married couple.
The single guy in question is a very funny man. He made me laugh till my sides hurt. The kind of laughter where your face is bright red, you can’t breathe, and you are silently shaking between gasps for air. Can you suffocate from laughing too hard? Well, I almost did. His team was playing in the first game and my team was playing in the second game. All the couples headed for home after the first game, but he stayed because as he said, “You sat through my game and helped me cheer on my team. The least I can do is return the favor.” Did I mention he’s a pretty sweet guy? After watching me in my full game-day lunacy (cheering, yelling, and knuckle biting), he wasn’t scared off. We chatted for a while after the game ended and headed out on our separate ways.
I asked my friend about him at work the following day and she told me how he was a friend of the family and they’d known him for years. I told her that he seemed like a nice guy and let the matter go. But, I was interested. I made sure I turned up for football the following Sunday and much to my chagrin, he wasn’t there. Watching football with all the married couples didn’t really appeal all that much, so I took a pass on the next few weeks of football.
Fast forward a few months and it’s New Year’s Eve. My married friend was having a New Year’s party. There were movies, food, and some truly horrendous karaoke that night. Bless his heart, the single guy can’t carry a tune with two hands and a bucket. We sang a duet to some song which to this day I can’t remember the name of, possibly because my mind is protecting me from the horror of the memory. At midnight, I teased my friend for texting me happy New Year’s when we were in the same room. The single guy asked me for my number and then proceeded to send me a Happy New Year’s text, too.(I'd like to interject the version I was previously told where the man had to ask you three times for your number and you were being a hold out. Way to play hard to get Pon Farr, go team!) We stayed up talking until long after the married friends had gone to bed. We’d each had a little too much to drink and I was offered the spare bedroom, while he took the couch. Since he had imbibed considerably more than I had, he was still snoring away on the couch when I left early the next morning.
After that, I would get a text on Sundays from the single guy or my married friends’ husband asking if I was coming over for football. My friends’ husband would text me to say that the single guy was looking sad all alone on the couch and was I coming over to keep him company. It was all very high school and yet very cute.
The single guy and my friend’s husband are both bloggers. I started my blog after reading and having fun commenting back and forth between their blogs. After six months of Sunday football, holiday parties, commenting back and forth on each other’s blogs, and hour long text messaging conversations, the single guy finally asked me out. And here is why you are reading about this dating adventure on Gertie’s blog and not my own: the single guy is a follower of my blog. (Feel free to message Gertie if you'd like the link to Pon Farr's blog, hint hint it's on my blog roll and mentioned in this post) The man already has more than enough insight into my head from my blog and I don’t think I could write about the good, the bad, and the funny from our first date if I knew he was going to be reading every word like a performance review.
Now you have the backstory, next time the first date.
We hope you have enjoyed this lovely guest post, remember to comment and give Pon Farr some love!!
Watch out for hammers!
Pon Farr & Gertie