Being single and dating is filled with many options, and sometimes its nice to have fun, be serious, or even uncommitted but the most important piece of advice is to be on the same page. If you want more examples of what that means click the link to check out one of my favorite blogs. Sometimes it's the ladies who want to define the relationship but in this case it was the man.
Number 6 and I continue to have fun together. I thought we were on the same page because I kept telling him how fun he was and I kept all of our dates casual and low key. I thought that was the tone of our relationship. However Number 6 is a nice guy and those guys want to protect, provide and profess when they are into you, and by profess I mean label you and call you their girlfriend, lady, etc al.
After a great time last week at dinner, eating ice cream, and some incredible mind blowing sex, he really caught me off guard. To be honest mind blowing is generous but it was above average and I was enjoying a post coitus cuddle when my euphoric thoughts were interrupted with the following earth shattering question. Number 6 stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said,"Where do you see this going?" Lustfully I thought this was headed for nudity and another romp in the bedroom but that wasn't the response he was trying to illicit, nor is that what Gertie said.
To be honest, I really like Number 6, his job withstanding, it just doesn't seem like a settled adult career path. I see it more as a dalliance while you work your way through to a bigger goal. I am not sure Number 6 has a firm grip on that goal and it's what deters me from being serious with him. I see him as a distraction, a Mr. Right Now until my Mr. Right appears from the wide single sandy desert in from of me, until he is no longer a Mirage on the horizon. When I get through the desert will it be Number 6 who I was actually searching for, my bet is on No, but only time will tell.
But back to the discussion at hand I avoided a final answer by saying I hadn't given a future much thought and that I was just enjoying the moment. Now seriously what guy doesn't like where this is going, we have a lot of fun and you're getting laid? Why make the mood all serious and stoic. I jokingly say the next day when the subject is brought up again, "Did you expect me to say I am your girlfriend, we're dating exclusively, and I can't wait to get married and have kids?" And I am shocked by the answer that this would have made him ecstatic. I feel a pit form in the bottom of my stomach. I wonder if I am a bad person for not confirming that we weren't on the same page more emphatically earlier.
I write Number 6 an email because I can't stand the guilt of miscommunication, I want to make sure I don't crumble under the pressure of his hazel eyes and cave to his demands. Also I have busy schedule and we weren't planning on hanging out for a few days. He sends me a text that he will respond to the email, but he wants me to know he is not mad or disappointed.
Over the next few days I wonder while pondering Number 6's response whether I have feeling for him or whether I would simply miss the fun and games. I think for a healthy relationship you have to be on the same page about communication, sex, and money. Not so much that you have the same amount of money just the how, why, and what to do with money. Money can't be a source of conflict in a relationship, because it will tear it down to its foundation. Could I be on the same page on these topics as Number 6? Is Mr. Right Now a future Mr. Right? Have I taken the fun and games too far?
Gertie is taking the time to examine her options but there are hard decisions about having fun on the horizon.
Watch out for Hammers,