Thursday, February 23, 2012

Gertie throws hammers at Southern boys....Part 1

There's something very special to Gertie's heart about a Southern Man, they are definitely a Target she likes to Spear. It could be that her father is from the South, that the drawl intrigues her, that their charm is so alluring, or that most Southern men believe Chivalry is not dead.

So in this Single life Gertie has dated two significant Southern Charmers, she threw the hammer at one of them but he keeps coming back for more and the other one has run for the hills.

The initial Southern Gentleman was called Cazador, maybe it was his flair for taking me to the Mexican place around the street from his house or that he used to flirt with me in Spanish. He was a charming gent, six months younger than me, a former college football player, and an embellisher when it came to his height. We went on several dates, ok we dated for a few months. He had a lot of positives so it took a little longer for the hammer to be thrown. But the interesting note to this story is that he had a memory problem. He had a TBI and his short term memory wasn't always on par. I thought it was a valid excuse, a google search revealed he really had been in a car accident. He wasn't affected mentally because he was going to grad school and working in Politics. It was a spring affair that had me enjoying the town. He occasionally forgot we had plans but he never really stood me up.

But he did forgot to tell me his mother had summoned him home after graduation. She had found him a state job where he was from and if he wanted to stay up North he had to beat the job offer. The recession was in swing and finding jobs can be hard with the overabundance of politicos in the area. He ended up moving, he promised he would come back and visit and he wanted to pursue the long distance thing. I contemplated long distance it's not really Gertie's style, but maybe it could work. But as he was packing and the move was on the horizon I noticed that sometimes his lapse memory was covering for lies. See boys and girls if you really forget we have plans that is one thing, but if you use your TBI to lie, it is quite another scenario.

Gertie threw the hammer at him when on a weekend visit before he left he went out with his boys and told her he was home sick. Gertie understands bros before hoes, so there was no need to lie. If you lie about something of so little importance what would keep you from lying about something when it really matters? Gertie threw a hammer at the Southern charmer and sent his broken heart packing deep into the South.

Every year on holidays and in the spring time for years, the Cazador calls/texts Gertie. When she wasn't single he would still invite her to dinner every time he was in town. Generally she would respond with sure if you don't mind if I bring my boyfriend. It had been a while since she had heard from him and this Thanksgiving she got a text that made her smile. The Cazador wished her Happy Thanksgiving, she returned the text and he followed with,"Are you Single?" Did you know Thanksgiving was the booty-text holiday, well for Gertie it is. Gertie was sipping wine with friends and so she exchanged a few more texts with Cazador. Through the course of the evening she found out he had left his home state and was now in the ATL. Drunk from the wine google revealed he had a blog, a twitter, and a baby mama. Yes he had told her he had a child but he wasn't with the mom, but Gertie still had to confirm.

Cazador texted Gertie over much of the holiday season. Some of the texts were humorous, some included photos, one included a blow up doll. Gertie wondered how a man who forgot so much short term could have Gertie on his mind. He professed that he had loved the way Gertie made him feel, after all these years he still was drawn to her like a moth to the flame. Corny I know but it was a nice reminder for Gertie who had gone on a date with someone who told her that she had too much masculine energy. She was happy to be reminded that she really did create an experience for the men she had a relationship with. Feminine energy can sometimes be defined as passive, receptive, gentle, and nurturing but it can have immensely powerful to be so light, receptive, and irresistible. Besides who doesn't like being swept off their feet, by an incredibly masculine man?

Getting back to the Cazador although the flirtation was a nice reminder of how irresistible she was to boys, Gertie again had to throw the hammer at the Cazador. She knew that she wasn't the only ex-love that he was texting and she still isn't into long distance love.. But on holidays or when spring blooms she will look forward to the reminder that she is incredibly irresistible to at least one of the Southern Charmers she has encountered in her life.

Watch out for Hammers,
Gertie xoxo


  1. Dear Gertie,

    Your Southern Boy does sound like an irritant. But he does not hardly seem worthy to be named after such a fearsome and deadly creature. Thinking back on my Southern heritage he sounds more like a fire ant. If you are not careful they can crawl up your leg and it feels like you are on fire. Or perhaps he could even be a Palmetto bug - just irritating. But I hope he returns if that is your wish.

  2. Thanks Ryan, but we're not hoping for his return...anytime soon! Cazador was actually word play of his actual name but I agree he is definitely more like a Palmetto or maybe even a locust(but emerging more frequently)....stay tuned the next one has dancing shoes. :)

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