Gertie is having fun (Number 6 lives on)

There will be a few juicy posts on the horizon....I have been working on my post about Southern Gentleman and I think I owe you a post about Moving Targets. I will post about one of these topics by the end of this week. There has been a lull in the dating waters this weekend

I decided not to reschedule the single Dad. I just wasn't feeling the interest because of his cancellation. I don't know if I really believe there was something wrong with his kid. I believe that he is a player. His texts are slightly annoying. I tried to cut him loose and told him that we couldn't reschedule because I met someone and wanted to see where it goes. By the way the best line ever to use on a single suitor, try it, it never fails. He said he would be in contact in two weeks, Gertie hopes he forgets.

But back to the subject at hand, having fun. Gertie continued this weekend by having fun, maybe a little too much fun with Greg, remember him?(aka No. 6 -) There was pizza, a movie, and a lot of making out on this long weekend. Sometimes a little fun can lead to a great time, and that is all Gertie is currently revealing. Although he is quite handsome, funny, and makes Gertie melt with a kiss, it's mainly a lustful attraction

Gertie does have a couple targets in her sights the top contenders are a a fiery Red Head and a Sweet Nerdy gamer. Oh how Gertie loves those nerds! What numbers will these prospects end up being, only time will tell. Until later this week...........

Watch out for Hammers,
Gertie xoxo

Gertie & Number 6

I just got home from a date with Greg(aka No.6.) How seriously do we take second dates? If someone makes you laugh, you have a great time, and you want more when they kiss you, is that enough? Should you be qualifying the buyer on the second date?

I drank beers and laughed at a local beer garden. Gertie drinking happens often at Happy Hour but Gertie drinking beer is rare. Greg is super open and shares all sorts of information about himself, when Gertie asks but I don't feel like he asked alot about her. Gertie felt like she asked alot of questions, but she wonders if she monopolized the conversation.

Greg sure is funny, charming, and sweet! We walked around the downtown area after cocktails. He kept putting his arm around me and there was a lot of flirty touching. I'm not sure that Greg is Mr. Right but he is sure is alot of fun as Mr. Right Now.

Number 6 down, 13 more Types To Go!!
Watch out for Hammers,
Gertie xoxo

Valentine's Update on All Gertie Wants for Christmas

Dear Santa,

It's Valentine's Day a day that is hallowed to singles everywhere and I have yet to receive my gift of a man who adores me. I understand that my request was a tall handsome order, that is not easily filled. So Santa, if you need more time could you please coordinate with the Easter bunny. A handsome gentleman in lieu of an Easter basket would work for me as well.

Sometimes if you're Bad you get something Good,

Gertie xoxo

Gertie goes on dates and throws no hammers!

Gertie had three dates this week with three different boys....still to be determined if any of them are men that should be speared and targeted.

Date #1
Gertie went on another date with shirtless wonder. I know I said I'm not sure if I'm his style and it was probably more like friends hanging out then a date, but alas we keep in touch. I'm not giving him a number in the lineup of New Years Resolutions because I am not sure it's more than friends in his opinion. He is going away for a while and when he returns if we do go on a real date then I will assign him a number in the Resolutions field. But for now just know that Gertie didn't abandon this little lump of coal. ******THIS BLOG HAS BEEN ALTERED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY, MAINLY ME*******Gertie met his dog, saw his house, and they email/text daily. They talk about their lives, the shows they like in common, and they trade dating advice. Well rather Gertie tells him about her dates and proffers advice to him about going on more. Gertie ******THIS BLOG HAS BEEN ALTERED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY, MAINLY ME******* so please don't get the idea that this is heading anywhere, he's still working on finding himself. But for all the wonderful advice and hysteria my friends put up with, I thought I got put a little good karma back into the world. More than that, it can never hurt to have another friend, especially such a sparkler.

Date #2 The Date with the Single Dad(Aka Number 5).....or the to be continued date as it were.
Exchanging emails and now texts with my new batphone I ended up agreeing to a date with a Single Dad. He seemed very nice and Gertie who often is somewhat commitment phobic was shocked by some of questions when exchanging emails. Her friend,Maria ,let her know that he was really just looking for a relationship and that's why his questions were slightly invasive. Single Dad had two girls both under 10, a questionable job, and he had never been married. The questionable job came in because he said he was in merchandising and was slightly vague about it. Maria & Kelley (two of Gertie's best friends) decided that merchandising was a code name for Drug Dealer. Not wanting to date a drug dealer, Gertie decided that Single Dad should disclose what merchandising meant. Turned out it was harmless and could also qualify him to be a Number 6, but hey we just keep swimming in 2012. Gertie and Single Dad decided they would go to dinner on Saturday night. Single Dad is very into texting, calling, and keeping in touch, quite a comparison for Gertie's dates of late. He texted Friday how excited he was to meet her. He texted Saturday morning asking about her day. He was just generally very attentive. The time came for their date and while en route Gertie figured she might be a few minutes late (Gertie tends to run a few minutes late in general.) She texted Single Dad and told him that she would be delayed, she got the response me too. Arriving at ten minutes after the agreed upon time at Asian restaurant. Gertie texted Single Dad to see if he had arrived, no response. She got a table to the right of the door so she could see people as they arrive. No single dad. Thirty minutes after she arrived she finished her green tea, paid her tab, and left.

Ten minutes later a text arrived from Single Dad asking if I was still there, apologizing, and saying there was a kid emergency. I responded I had left and no worries, it happens. He said his child had fallen and hit their head. He apologized for letting me know what was going on. Two phone apologies and five texts later, I actually believed that he hadn't stood me up on purpose. If the schedule permits Gertie might be giving him another shot. No hammers thrown yet.....Besides you got to give props to Single Dad for taking good care of his kids.

Date#3 The Date with The Guy whose Job you might not be in love with (Aka Number 6) His name is Greg and despite Gertie's preference for the older gentleman he is a year younger than our adventurous heroine. We really are breaking down all the type molds this year. Greg is not Gertie's normal type he is a little different. Although still a nerd, they exchanged emails and she laughed about his love of Street Fighter II a game she loved playing with her little brother when he was a kid. Greg was impressed she knew the characters names and their special moves. They agreed to an impromptu date of Sips and Apps because they were having alot of fun chatting on Gtalk and Gertie felt there was something worth exploring. Literally she decided hours before she met him that it was going to happen. She had expected to stay an hour and she ended up staying 2.5 hours. Gertie laughed alot and had a lot of fun. On discussion with Noel, another of Gertie's inner circle, it was decided that fun was what Gertie really needed. A miraculous thing happened at the end of the date with Greg, Gertie abandoned her social awkwardness, it had momentarily(or hopefully longer) disappeared. When he walked her to the car, he kissed her and shockingly she went with it and kissed him back. Driving home she wondered if he was that good of a kisser, what other skills could he have. She was also impressed that there had be an exceptional kiss because apparently our heroine is on a path to breaking the Rules, lol.



In conclusion 2 out of 3 successful dates for the weekend ain't bad and our heroine is back on the horse!


Watch out for Hammers,
Gertie xoxo

Updated Rules Targets and Dates so far in 2012

Mid month every month from here on in I will update if necessary my rules and targets, and I will also post how many of the guys from my post in dating in 2012 I have given dates.

Here are the original Rules and Targets and here is the Revised Version(Updates are in bold):

Rules for Dating by Gertie:

1. Give everyone who asks a first date, they will all teach you something.
2. Google everyone before you're first date make sure they aren't a serial killer and their story checks out. (Mandatory, do not stray from this rule)
3. Give everyone that makes you laugh a second date, when you're old laughter will matter more than you know.
4. Give everyone your Google Voice number, shield your actual cell phone number. (Yes my friends Gertie got a batphone!!)
5. Have an email address exclusively for online dating, don't link that email to anything else in your life.
6. Only give third dates to men who make you feel butterflies, no need to waste time.
7. Kissing on a first date is the exception not the rule.
(But sometimes kissing on the first date is exceptional)
8. See a man's place before you every invite him to yours.
9. Bring enough cash on a date to roll out if the need arises. (Great rule - Thanks Dad!)
10. Honesty is a paramount quality, watch out for inconsistencies.

Male Targets:
1. Tall men who reach the top shelf - remember to subtract two inches from a listed height on an online dating profile.

2. Broad Men who give Great Hugs; subjective but necessary
3. Someone who doesn't want to hang out everyday, but who wants to hangout a few times a week.
4. Someone who is awesome and has friends that are awesome, bonus points if your friends would mesh well with my friends.
5. Someone who knows there way around a kitchen, bar, or a pantry. I like Men who can cook, bake, and especially craft an interesting cocktail or two.
6. Gentleman who remember the little things, without being asked and care about your well being.
7. Someone who makes you laugh, the type of laughter that explodes throughout your entire body.
8. Someone who loves their mom, sister, women in their life but in a healthy well adjusted way.
9. A Great Communicator.
10. Someone who likes to eat cake, and other applicable cake skills.

Status on the 17 Guys to Date in 2012 (even if their dates haven't been blogged about, yet!)
Dates Accomplished
(***UPDATE:The same guy can only count under 1 of the 17 types even though he may qualify under multiple categories.***)

5. The Single Dad Who’s Ready To Find Love Again. Having shunned single dads in the past because Gertie didn't want to be an Evil Step Mother, you should resolve to at least take it into consideration. - Accomplished part way, we setup a date...blog to follow

6. The Guy Whose Job/Apartment You Might Not Love But Who Treats You Like a Princess. If he treats you like gold and you’re discounting him because of he’s a bartender who lives in studio apartment, you’re focusing on the wrong things. With the exception of him being involved in criminal activities at the bar or hiding dead bodies in his studio apartment, he is highly datable. -Well we've had two dates which fall into this category because we are really being flexible about our dates, since we have been following Rule #1. Give everyone a date who asks. Blog to follow shortly.

13. The Guy Who Loves to Cook For You. How ironic that he loves to cook for me because I love to eat. This could work. Well it didn't work out with BB&J but he fell into this category, we will count someone else in the future if it occurs.

Well I feel like that's positive ladies & gents, we're barely into the New Year and we already have 3 of the 17 types checked off the list, we will keep on swimming and update you more next month.


Watch out for Hammers,
Gertie xoxo

Gertie throws coffee at boys

Hi!

Sorry it's been a while I have been regrouping since the end of BB&J. I have been working on a blog about the Southerners, and pouring over what other dating antidotes that I will be bringing to you shortly. There are just so many funny stories.

Having put back up my profiles and made a hasty effort to populate some dates to get back out there, here is my dating story from last weekend. I'd like to start this story with a quote from Patti Stanger, a personal favorite, everyone should watch her on Bravo because Millionaire Matchmaker will make you laugh.

"Coffee is cheap. Drinks are an audition. Lunch is an interview. Dinner means business...the business of romance"

I rarely if ever accept coffee dates. I don't mind lunch because sometimes it fits better in the schedule and maybe there is an activity thrown around it. But I don't drink coffee, I drink Green Tea and generally not in coffee shops on first dates.

Arriving at the centrally located coffee shop between me and my perspective suitor. Let's call him Jack, it's a harmless name. I arrived and he was seated with his coffee, but he walked over to meet me and paid for my tea. This was nice and unexpected gesture because generally if I were to go to coffee, men don't really pay for your drink. Previous coffee experiences have shown that each party purchase their own refreshment, but Jack started the date being a gentleman.

I mentioned that this date was hastily planned after recently plunging back in. I had not exchanged actual email information with Jack, I didn't know his last name, I didn't really know much more than his profile proffered and that he wanted to meet quickly and see if we clicked. Note to readers: Gertie broke her Rules and these were the consequences...

We had a twenty minute of chit chat learning more about each other. He lived about twenty minutes away from Gertie. He had bad boy tattoos which seemed incredibly hot at the time. He enjoyed similar interests. He talked alot about things he liked and he was a little forward, but sometimes that is charming. He seemed confident, well put together, and Gertie was really enjoying the date. He asked if she would like to have dinner sometime and she agreed.

And then Jack drops the bomb, he just wants to be clear about what he is looking for. (Good being on the same page is important) He is looking for a girlfriend (seems reasonable), he wants someone to have dinners, spend time, romance but that's as far as it can go because he isn't looking for a serious commitment. (Well we're not really on the same page long term, but ok.....) Because he is MARRIED!!! (WTF) He is not looking to change anything about his situation he is just looking for someone to have a meaningful relationship with...(ABORT!! Did I meet this guy on Ashley Madison?? I wasn't aware I was looking to be the other woman)

I thought my head was going to implode, I considered throwing my tea across the table. I wondered if it was hot enough to scald him and possibly leave a mark. Then he would owe his poor wife an explanation and maybe he would get caught. I think he saw the look of horror on my face, his chair scooted back slightly from the table. He started to proffer some explanation. I cut him off, I had some questions of my own. I asked him if we had met on an online dating sight for singles? My follow up question was what about my profile lead you to believe I was interested in being a Mistress? Before there was an answer I asked him if he had heard of Ashley Madison, because that was a more appropriate place for his needs. I told him never to contact me again slammed my tea on the table and insulted him on the way out. If only I had been equipped with an actual hammer.

Later that night I reported his profile to the online dating site. Previous efforts have shown Gertie, thanks to a very close friend that sometimes perusing Ashley Madison isn't a bad idea. Not to find a date but to disqualify perspective suitors. You'd be surprised how many people purporting as singles on traditional dating sites are really Jack-assess!

Watch out for Hammers,
Gertie xoxo

P.s. Don't worry Gertie has alot more posts coming because this weekend was full of dates. :)

The End of BBJ - Throwing Hammers at Boys who Ghost

And even as I blogged about the beginning a few weeks ago I knew it was coming to an end....
Isn't that how it always is? So BB&J and I had a fun fall and I thank him for the holiday spirit, but as we round the corner from Groundhog's Day to Singles Awareness Day it is officially true he has bit the dust.


Turns out BB&J was single because he can't maintain communication. He is the consummate texter and he rarely calls. I tried to bring it up and I thought it was worked through. Then one day a few weeks ago while on the phone I was discussing our plans for the weekend. They were going to be preempted because I had found out my parents would be unexpectantly in town. I casually mentioned it to him on the phone but clearly stated he didn't have to hang out with them unless he wanted to meet them. It just limited my availability for the weekend. He acted a bit like a boy on the phone, we had plans to meet later, he had a headache, he said he would call.....and then he ghosted me. He ghosted me through the entire weekend my parents were here, a few texts but no returned calls. He ghosted me because Paterno died, he got stuck in traffic, he was busy at work. I was a little fed up, I sent a terse text telling him this was not cutting the mustard.

He apologized through text but plans didn't really work out and his chivalry and my interest waned. We had been seeing each other since Fall and it is clearly winter. If you have no interest in meeting my parents that's ok if it scares you, it's too soon, but you have to be a man and cop to it and it makes me evaluate your potential differently.

There was a possibility it could have worked out if Gertie wouldn't have been so vocal about the mustard not cutting it and excepted the poorly made sandwich. But Gertie brings her best cupcakes to the table so she expects the gourmet fare to be reciprocated and yellow mustard is just not her style. She sent a scathing email to the texter to illicit everything that wouldn't fit in a text. She threw a hammer that defined exactly why this boy was still in the single pond. Her friend suggested she should sign the email this is why you will die single and alone, but Gertie resisted no need to spell out the inevitable to a dying man.

Watch out for Hammers,
Gertie xoxo